Goodbye Rubber Ducky

We are not supposed to take baths. That is, neither Gabriel nor I are supposed to “fry”….this according to the IVF class nurse. I quote “the doctor wants fresh eggs and fresh sperm….not sunny side up and fried”.

For those of you who don’t know us very well, WE LOVE BATHS!! Gabriel even owns multiple bath toys, although they more often serve as bath art than bath toys.

Exhibit a:


Which leads me to exhibit b:


For those astute readers out there… You will notice that exhibit a and exhibit b are identical.

You see, while Gabriel has been more than fantastic about following all of the “rules” associated with IVF, I unfortunately, have not.

You see….I really do love to take baths. I enjoy baths more than showers, more than chocolate, and it would not be a stretch to say that I might even enjoy baths more than wine. In fact, I am writing this post from my iPhone in the bath as we speak!!!! That is my leg in the picture….I’ve been caught wet-legged!

So scandalous!

But, I have made a promise to myself and to my healthy and soon-to-be not over-cooked eggs….no more baths starting January 1st. That’s right folks. You’ve read it here and once it’s posted on the Internet, there is no chance for me to renege.

Given that I still have about 26.5 hours until 1/1/12, I am planning to take at least one bath tomorrow. I may even drink a glass of red wine and eat dark chocolate while taking my bath. I might as well live it up while I can!

So…goodbye rubber ducky. Hopefully we’ll see you soon!

I’m entering my “zen” – or whatever that means!

I don’t even really understand what “zen” means, but whatever it is, I need to find it before January 5. And by “need”, I mean “should”.

I start my medications January 5 – a measley 8 days from now. It is the recommendation of my IVF clinic in Spokane, as well as many clinics throughout the country, that patient’s going through this process to remain as calm and comfortable as possible. I’m assuming this is because you are putting your body through so much between the drugs and stress of the process, it’s important not to add anything more on top of that.

My idea of calm and comfortable – sitting by a pool in Mexico, drinking a $1,0000 bottle of Malbec while Keanu Reeves massages my feet.

Since I don’t have time to travel to Mexico right now, I guess that idea should be eliminated 🙂

In the meantime, I have lots of big plans to achieve my goal of calm and comfortable.

1. Minimal work – working straight from Christmas Eve thru New Year’s Eve has its perks – I get LOTS of time off!

2. Having minimal work to do allows me lots of time for long walks, getting things in order at the house, organizing drawers (which everyone knows is my favorite thing to do) and cooking/baking.

3. Massages, accupuncture, manicure, pedicure – I mean – WHY NOT??

4. I’m starting a new job at The University of Montana immediately after I return from Spokane – teaching Neuroanatomy…SUCKS TO BE ME!!! When I first accepted the position, I thought…”how fun – I hope I get a grade book!!”. Now that I realized I actually have to understand Neuroanatomy before I can teach it…well, that’s not what I thought it would be like. Either way, I enjoy learning…so I’ll spend lots of time reading the book, writing tests, preparing lectures and trying to convince myself that I am capable to teaching 🙂 Ok – so maybe not super calm and relaxing but it needs to be done so I have no other choice!

So halfway thru writing this post, I decided to google the word “Zen”. As it turns out, I was using it all wrong! Wikipedia describes it as a meditative state. I don’t think my above stated plans for relaxation would exactly constitute a meditative state, with emphasis on experimental wisdom in the attainment of enlightenment. I’ll leave that to the Monk’s.

Since I had my definition wrong, I’ll see what I can do about scheduling Keanu for next week – I think I have Friday open 🙂

Just figured this out…

Now that I’ve put my story out there into the blogosphere – there is no turning back!

Everyone and their moms (literally, I’ve received emails from my friend’s mom’s) have read this blog. OK – not everyone, but at least most of the people in MY world and Facebook.  Everyone in my world knows what the next step is in the process of getting me pregnant – IVF.

IVF is funny. A couple months before even going for the “series”, I know the approximate date I will “get pregnant”. As of now, mine is scheduled for January 21, 2012.  9 days later, I will have a blood test to determine if it “takes”.

Which means that around January 30, I’ll know if I’m pregnant – but where does that leave all of you? My wonderful friends, family and random strangers who are following this blog?

I think you’ll know everything as I do. Cuz why not?

I was chatting with a girlfriend today about the whole idea/wives tale/superstition of waiting the full 12 weeks to tell the general population that a woman is pregnant.

I know this is a relatively touchy subject, although it seems the general consensus in my immediate circle is waiting the full 3 months to tell the exciting news (most often in a big Facebook post).

Regardless of others opinions, I am ok with people knowing the “good” news early. I’ve weighed the pros and cons (appendix a).

Appendix A:                                                                                               Cons of telling before 12 weeks:

– There is a high chance of miscarriage and having people know you are pregnant, only to have to tell them you are no longer pregnant kinda sucks (I know…it has happened to me 3 times – I’ll explain later 🙁 )  That includes the disappointment for our family, which sucks!

Pros of telling before 12 weeks:

– You don’t have to pretend at parties that you are not pregnant.  I would not have to fake drinking an alcoholic beverage by asking the bartender to give me diet coke but to add a lime, cherry and a cute little mixing straw just to make it look like I’m drinking.  This also includes other “forbiddens” of pregnancy, like hot dogs, deli meat, raw sushi and soft cheese (and everyone knows how much I love me some good Brie cheese!)  I could just flat out tell people “I am pregnant, so I am not partaking” and leave it at that.


As you can see, it’s a score of 1:1 (pros vs. cons) – A TAMARACK TIE 🙂

Regardless of everyone’s opinions of this blog, in which I have to say has been 95% positive with only a couple of my friends looking down on it (although they would never admit it – I just know from their comments to me), I feel that what I’m doing is a good thing.

I’m not being quiet about infertility or the struggles it takes to get pregnant.  I’m admitting to the world that this is difficult and that, unlike some, it’s not something that HAS to be gone through alone.

Which means, you’ll all be a part of it with me.  I’ll keep you posted on all the good, bad and hopefully exciting news when the time is right!

Will it be hard if I miscarry? – possibly,  but I would not be going through it alone, which makes the whole thing easier.

So, thanks in advance for your support 🙂


I have a mullet!

Who knew that birth control pills could make me so crazy??

I was on birth control for about 9 years – and I can’t remember how they affected me when I first started them in 2001. They probably made me a little crazy, but then again, I was in my sophomore year at Indiana University, living in a sorority house with 50+ other girls….I had PLENTY of reasons to be crazy!

Did you know that prior to going through IVF, you have to take birth control pills for the month before? Who would have thunk?? I would imagine that the doctor would prefer you to GET pregnant prior to going through the awfulness that is IVF, but then again, maybe this is just another scam by those ridiculous doctors.

I have a feeling they laugh at all the crazy women coming in (crying, complaining, bitching, etc) after they’ve been on the meds. Or even better, all the reproductive endocrinologist’s go for beers once a week, just to swap stories of crazy girls on heavy hormones. What I would give to be their bartender and pee in their beer!!!!

Either way, the meds make me crazy. Thank goodness for my wonderful husband. He has been such a trooper! Just to give you an idea of my craziness:

1. Last night, after our hockey game, I insisted that Gabriel carry my hockey gear from the car to the garage “because I said so”.

2. While getting my haircut last week, my hairdresser asked me how I’ve been liking my recent cut and I replied with “I have a FUCKING mullet – what do you think of it??” (She then poured me a mimosa – I felt much better afterwards :).

3. For breakfast the other day, I ate a handful of M & M’s. Although, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done this on any “normal” day.

4. At boot camp class this morning, I was mad at the instructor for not making the kickboxing workout longer! I enjoyed kicking and punching into the air and wanted it to go on forever.

Only 26 more days of these silly drugs, then on to the bigger ones. I can’t wait to see what I’m like then :0

“But I can drink…”

My good friend, Annie, had a baby boy last night.  Despite being 7 weeks early, mom and baby are doing fantastic.  Annie is such a strong woman.

I sat on the edge of her hospital bed this morning, enjoying our time together, but in the back of my mind, trying to cheer her up (it will be a rough few weeks as Elliott spends his days growing big and strong in the NICU).  In all of our usual ridiculousness, Annie and I came up with “good” reasons associated with having had a shortened pregnancy.

1.  Less weight gain – Annie is beautiful!!!  And looked amazing throughout her entire pregnancy, although I take half the credit because I did go walking and/or hiking with her almost every week of the pregnancy.  But, there is something to say for having 7 less weeks of weight gain and starting early on the the post-pregnancy weight loss program!  I already promised her that 2 weeks post c-section, I’d be rounding her up for a short hike.

2.  She can finally drink!  Just a few weeks after she found out she was pregnant, Annie and I went for a girls weekend away and I was left all by myself to enjoy libations.  It is not fun drinking alone (although that didn’t stop me tonight as I sit here typing with a *plastic cup* of red wine is sitting next to my keyboard).

At this point – our handsome and charming OB-GYN walked in the room, so we had to end our conversation so she could have her exam (*insert jealousy here*). This list got me thinking though….

Are there perks to NOT being pregnant?


So, to all my pregnant (or recently pregnant) friends out there (and there are TONS)….enjoy it.  Before you know it, it will be over.

When it’s over, and you have a bouncing baby on your lap, we can enjoy life again together 🙂

I love you, Annie!!!!  Hang in there my friend – you are so strong!