After all that, we actually had a baby!
I know you must be thinking how ridiculous that sounds. It’s biology… you get pregnant, regardless of how that happens and 9 months later, a baby pops out.
But for those who have struggled with fertility, our mindset tends to be more like this: “the ultrasound displays a baby, and my body looks pregnant, but some how, some way, some thing will go wrong and disappointment is the expectation”.
Throughout the 9 months of pregnancy, I became very superstitious and cautious. We abstained from learning the gender of the baby prior to delivery. Gabriel wanted to do this for the excitement of finding out in the delivery room; for me it was to avoid too much of an attachment to the unborn child. I had many friends offer hand-me-down maternity clothing, but I postponed taking and wearing them until I could no longer stuff my bulging belly (ok! ok!…and butt, calfs, boobs, thighs and pretty much every body part) into my regular clothes. And I refused to purchase anything for the baby until 6 weeks before the due date out of fear that I was jinxing the entire process.
For some women, this level of hesitation is normal for new moms. I’ve heard that many expectant moms fear the worst, become concerned when they have not felt the baby kick and google every possible complication associated with each stage of pregnancy.
I took my fears and hesitations just one step further – craziness 😉
We have glass shower doors in our bathroom, which makes for a beautiful but easily messy-looking space if not cleaned after each use. Given my obsessive-compulsive tendencies when it comes to cleanliness, we have a squeegee in the shower that is used routinely by me and Gabriel. A few hours before one of our first ultrasounds, around 6 weeks, I was cleaning the glass after my shower and somehow convinced myself that if I made sure to PERFECTLY clean off the glass, ensuring to get each trickling bead of water, that everything with the baby would be ok, at least on that day and thatultrasound. So, this became my routine. I made sure that no matter what, no matter how crunched for time I was, or if Gabriel was going to shower immediately after me, it did not matter. I meticulously cleaned the glass every day for the duration of the pregnancy.
I’ll spare you additional stories, but feel free to use your imagination to conjure up other strange behaviors i could have acquired in 40 long weeks. Albeit my neurosis, the entire pregnancy was perfect. I was very fortunate; I felt great, remained extremely active with hikes, bike rides, yoga and swimming. I enjoyed watching my body change as it was busy growing a tiny human. It’s easier to use the excuse of “growing life” as to why my body changed, because everyone knows it could not have possibly been due to my new addiction to chocolate covered pomegranates 😉
Labor was fantastic! Despite 27 long hours, labor was the most fun, painful, scary and gratifying experience I have ever had.
Oliver Milo Silverman was welcomed into this world at 12:14am on October 3, 2012, surrounded by his mom and dad, best friend/doula Blair, good friend/OB Jenny and our hard-working nurse and hero, Jessica. Perfect in every way, Oliver immediately captured our undying love and has been the heartthrob of our household for 18 spectacular days!