Disclaimer: Melissa Silverman, and all entities associated with Melissa Silverman, mean no harm by anything I am about to say.
Pregnant people and people with children really annoy me.
Ok. I said it. Feel free to shoot the messenger. The truth is, lots of women dealing with infertility issues feel this way but are too afraid to say it. So, I now pronounce myself the messenger.
Honestly, I’m happy for most people who are pregnant or have children. And when I say most, I mean those people who are friends or family (or even friends on Facebook). The remaining 50% who don’t fall into the “most” category? People I don’t know…those walking around the mall, 3 bratty kids in tow, about to pop any moment…the 16-year-old high schoolers who “didn’t know the condom broke”….and my favorite, the women on the show “I didn’t know I was pregnant” who spend 40 weeks not knowing they were pregnant and show up the hospital with stomach pains. Ugh – you annoy me.
Everyone else – YES, I AM HAPPY FOR YOU! But, let me tell you something. It is hard for us who can’t/might not/won’t get pregnant or have children of our own. I love hearing your stories of early morning sickness, seeing your swollen belly or holding your child while you just “grab a quick bite”. But you guys suck! It seems like all my friends are pregnant right now. No joke – All my friends! It seems like there must be something in the vodka. Why have I been busy drinking wine all these years when I could have been drinking the vodka?
It’s hard to fake excitement for someone when you are pumped full of fertility meds – I swear some chauvinistic 50-something reproductive endocrinologist sat in a lab concocting these medications. It seems that the medications primary purpose is to drive infertile women crazy with the secondary purpose to make women ovulate. They make you bloated, sweaty, hungry, tearful, gassy and miserable all at once – now that is what I call the perfect medication if you want to feel good and fit into that “perfect little black dress”. Now imagine that, mixed with late night facebook posts of, “baby (fill in your last name here) does not like this cold weather…he/she is kicking like crazy when I just look outside the window at all this snow”. Ugh. Gag me with a spoon. Why can’t you just say that YOU hate the cold weather. As if that baby even cares….he/she is all snuggled up there in their warm amniotic fluid, not thinking about the blizzard outside your window.
But, again, no offense!