I called my mom to “warn” her about this blog. I already had 2 glasses of wine and she was half asleep but the conversation went something like this.

Me: I wanted to tell you something.
Mom: is it good or bad?
Me: not sure…decide for yourself.
Mom: ok, what is it?
Me: I started a blog about my fertility problems and anyone can see it.
Mom: anyone??
Me: well, anyone who cares to see it.
Mom: why??
Me: because I wanted to.
Mom: good for you.

(I then read her my first few entries)

Mom: that’s good…who wrote it ??
Me: I did.
Mom: I thought Gabriel was the good writer…not you.
Me: thanks mom!
Mom: no, really, it’s good. I’m proud.
Me: maybe someone important will read it and turn it into a movie.
Mom: yeah, why not? That girl who cooked all of Julia Childs recipes wrote a blog and they made a movie out of that.
Me: not the point of this blog but can’t say I would complain.
Me: I hope Natalie Portman would play me.
Mom: that’s perfect….she’s Jewish!
Me: as if that’s the defining reason why Natalie Portman would play ME…easy fit for religious purposes.

(in my mind I was really thinking someone like Rosie O’Donnell would be a better fit but it is my mom…why burst her bubble??)

Me: alright, good night!

I came upstairs to find Gabriel half asleep. Again, not exactly, but our conversation went something like this.

Me: my blog is getting lots of attention. It’s really exciting.
Gabriel: that’s great Meliss!
Me: my mom said it should turn into a movie. Natalie Portman could play me.
Gabriel: she’s hot. What about Kiera Knightley?
Me: no. Who would play you?
Gabriel: I know you think Ben Affleck or Patrick Dempsey would be great, but I really think Denzel Washington or Eddie Murphy would be better.
Me: WHY??
Gabriel: for “size” purposes! I think it would only be fair to have an equally endowed actor.

Mom…aren’t you proud??

Sleep tight Gabriel!